advice, past and experiences

• WHAT ARE THE CHANCES The male to female ratio is 1.013:1 imagine if it was 1.013:0.5 the chances of one getting a woman would be much less. Now every man must not get it twisted what this ratio means is that for every single man out there’s bound to be one single woman waiting for you to sweep her away. But there is bound to be competition and what usually was the case with me is that I would recede into my cocoon and assume that a woman is already taken merely by virtue of her beauty alone and I would find that I would lose a lot of opportunities, very beautiful women are prone to be attracted by jerks who have no reservation and they end up getting these women merely because they know they have nothing to lose when they approach them. If you are a stand up guy and your inhibitions prevent you from getting the girl of your dreams because you don't want to hurt your ego because you are afraid of being dumped for another guy, think of it this way - If your girl dumps you for another guy then it will mean that there's one less person to compete for the next hot chick you are going to meet. • A BRIEF ACCOUNT I know a young woman who happens to be a reputable model in my region, in my pursuit for a romantic relationship with her, while we where still working together, she eluded to the resolution she had taken that she has decided to be single forever and it was because of a bad experience with a guy. Now I did not do the situation any justice by trying to impress her yet yielding to my low self-esteem and ignoring her in moments where she was obviously crying that I humour her. I kept on saying that all I wanted was to know her more but my actions didn’t reflect that. I failed to make her feel like she was my priority at that time, she gave me her numbers and I did not call because deep inside I had already written myself off and lost out on a potentially good relationship if not a good friendship. These are some of the tendencies I think I have learnt to overcome over time. • A FEW RULES FOR MEN which I’ve deduced from past romances: - When a woman says she is not ready for a relationship but gives you an opportunity to spend time with her don’t run away and give up, take that opportunity! it might be to test your true intentions with her, if you want a hit and run you can go to your nearest motel you’ll find it, a good woman is worth the wait! - Don’t dwell on the negatives but capitalise on the positives. She might give you mixed messages, don’t shy away with your tail between your legs but focus on the signs that she is willing to make you her guy. - Don’t compare yourself with other men, because you’ll most likely feel jealous and insecure when you see her with other men. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. For a guy to be rejected by a woman it is often as a result of an inferiority complex. Don’t try to be another person because the more you try to be someone else the more you remind your girl of the guy you are trying to be and when given the opportunity do you think she would choose you over the real thing? - Don’t suddenly pretend as if you are not interested when you’ve already made it clear to her that you are. - Every opportunity that you get to show her that she is you priority must be taken immediately, when you see her on her phone texting(walking alone) don’t just assume that she’s preoccupied and then ignore her and proceed to go along with your friends especially if those friends are women. - For a woman who is most probably getting sundry requests by men she is most likely to be undecided about which guy to go for. It is your responsibility to convince her that you are the guy she is looking for. Balanced consistency is important in the beginning. - When you ask a woman for her numbers, it is your responsibility to call, not hers. - Discover your worth(swag) beyond your money. I know women who keep confessing that they want to let go of their successful career boyfriends who’ve got money and fancy stuff but don’t have time. I remember in the days when I used to wash cars in my hometown, in my spare time, there used to be a lady(very beautiful) who was married to one of my clients who worked for a dealership, fairly rich and possessive the guy was, it didn’t prevent the woman from making passes at me(giving me huge tips and making funny gestures) when she came to for her regular visits to her husband at work and the most amazing event was when she offered one of my good friends at that time(a carguard) that he come and visit her for a “private party” this happened more than one occasion. I don’t know whether he obliged or not. So the moral of the story is that money can’t buy you love! - The stereotypes about beautiful women are obscure and misleading, so don’t ever underestimate a woman’s intelligence because she can sense your condescending attitude. In communication it is said that you have the power to marginalize and empower, so the more you underestimate a woman the more you are NOT going to listen to what she has to say and when you do you’ll disregard it and I don’t think you’ll get any love from intelligent women if you don’t respect their opinion. - Don’t be desperate for sex because you’ll end up compromising on your own values and personality and you are most likely to be afraid of saying the wrong things and she is less likely to be interested in a clingy desperate person who has ulterior motives. Now I ask myself where I would have been by now in my relationship with the opposite sex had I just understood that there’s nothing to lose, It is easy to just conclude that a woman is way out of your league and then settle for second best and looking at the ratio alone you are naturally forcing the woman you are gunning for to settle for second best by not approaching her. • PERSONAL IMPROVEMENTS AND CHANGES Now very recently I notched up my image a bit and got a Mohawk some shampoo and good hair lotion, some nice cologne, groomed my facial hair, coordinated my wardrobe, walked upright and boldly, smiled a bit more and improved my body language and I kept it consistent. I am no longer intimidated by confident women as I found that confidence (not pride) is the thing I find as one of the most appealing about women. A woman’s confidence has been for some reason been a barrier for me because I myself was not confident. A confident woman stands for what she believes in and you see it in the way she walks and talks she doesn’t have anything to prove to you she is who she is, she has standards and doesn’t compromise. Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance and pride, nothing irritates than a woman who finds solace for her own inadequacies in marginalising others, I think it is very pathetic and such women I don’t find attractive. My other improvement was that in my engagements with women I don’t act as if they are not important anymore and I don’t engage with women for the mere potential of having them as my girlfriend. I do not see them as more of a person or less of a person than I am. And I used to be reserved and unwilling to be my true self around women and that led to my demise. Now in my interactions with women that I like: I am less conscious of past failures and bad experiences and more interested in creating new experiences and exploring the person beyond exploring the woman. I’ve stopped talking and started listening more and it really works. I remember the serious unapproachable persona I used to portray when I was with women I that liked romantically and also my reliance in my physical features for interaction with women and remember how ineffective this approach was. I remember how I used to have a huge head when women told me that I am handsome and how that affected me at a later stage because I became shallow and when I started hearing women tell me that I like acting like a charmer-boy and when they stopped telling me that I am a charmer-boy it really shook me up and I receded into my little cocoon, my low self-esteem was aggravated by the fact that I was still an adolescent and undergoing treacherous hormonal changes. Well basically I did some introspecting and got rid of the mess and now I am seeing the results and I am more cool in my skin and these changes are attracting attractive women to me and I am delighted by the amount of fun I have interacting with them.